Tales From the District Attorney's Office. Part One

As my semester comes to a close, everything is wrapping up and being tied away as neatly as possible. As such, my internship at the District Attorney has been completed. In a nutshell what I did with the DA was work with the Reentry Taskforce. We helped men and women who were coming out of incarceration get jobs, find housing, get into drug rehab programs, and start a new life. I did just about everything you can imagine in relation to that job – from working with drug councilors and doctors, to interviewing our clients, to sending faxes, to organizing and closing cases, and on and on. Needless to say, my knowledge of both the rehab clinics, and the employment and housing agencies in this area is much more extensive than before. The following are moments from my time spent there that I will never forget. (All names and locations have been changed for security purposes).

First day on the job I was whisked off to parole. I was fresh-eyed and innocent and didn't know much about what I would be doing, or what I was getting myself in to. My "welcome" to the office consisted of two security guards eyeing me with interest, and then kindly saying "welcome to hell." Good. It wasn't hell, exactly, but it certainly was bordering on right-around-the-corner from "the grass is greener on the other side" and down the street from "This ain't heaven, baby, so I'm goin someplace elseee."

My first miscreant (my fond name for our clients) sat and stared at me and refused to talk, and when he finally did spoke no English whatsoever and covered his mouth. I found out later that he was suspected of being an illegal alien and had a bad tooth.

A couple weeks into the job I was at parole when we were all ushered in to the conference room. Everyone was extremely serious, and when a number of security guards filed in and told us that an assassination attempt had been called in, the place began to buzz. A parolee had been targeted by one of the gangs in the area, and the shootout was supposed to go down that day outside of parole. Continued next post

Tales From the District Attorney's Office. Part Two

They wanted him out of the way and wanted to send a message. It was a serious situation because this had happened a number of years ago and a couple of people at parole had died. A picture of the man was passed around, and the office went into a sort of lock-down. Anyone around the parameter of the building had to put on a vest, and the rest of us were kept safely away from windows and doors. Soon after my boss and the guards decided they wanted me out of the “situation” so I was escorted out to my car and taken to safety. Later that day they were able to get a hold of the guy before he was murdered and everyone was okay. Phew.

My miscreants would often say the craziest things, and this one time a young guy at parole who was not a part of our program came in with a busted face. When I asked him what happened he said the following.
“Well, man, I was really needing some crack the other day so I let these guys beat me up for ten dollars and the whole time I was worried about them breaking my crack pipe. I should have been worried about my head probably, but then I went home and my landlady told me to shut up about being loud but I wasn’t being loud and told her so and she got her boyfriend and he threw me down the stairs and I was just really really worried that I was going to break my crack pipe but I didn’t. But my face got busted. It’s cool though.” Good. Continued next post

Tales From the District Attorney's Office. Part Three

One of my favorite clients was this little short guy with round glasses and a big mustache. He kind of looked like a turtle and he was the most polite and “old fashioned” gentleman in the entire building. The first day I met him he told me the most interesting story about his time in prison. In a nutshell, during his days there he had realized that it was his purpose in life to become a motivational speaker. He had gotten a “brood” of guys to flock around him and had become their mentor. He helped them get through the good and the bad days, and his philosophy on seeing life in the most positive way had helped keep many of them out of trouble. He was inspiring and completely committed to his ideas and his motivation to help others – not something we saw very much with our clients.

A couple of months into the job I was helping a client organize his life situation, and I needed to make copies of his IDs. He was rather ADHD, so when he didn’t respond to my request I just thought he had spaced out. I asked again, and he leaned forward and asked if he could go to the bathroom. Confused I told him that he could go in a minute, but I needed his IDs first. ....continued in next post

Stories from the District Attorney's Office Part Four

“No no no,” he told me as if it was perfectly obvious, “I have to go to the bathroom IN ORDER to get my IDs.”
I was completely taken aback, so I simply obliged and walked him to the bathroom. A few moments later he resurfaced with his IDs, though I told him to “just hang on to those.” I had no idea what to do so I did the noble thing and passed him off to one of my male coworkers. I had class! I had to go! Needless to say my coworker thanked me profusely the next day.

My last day at parole was not as eventful as some weeks, but it did include the following: One of our clients came in and when I sat him down for his interview he seemed extremely agitated. I managed to get him to start talking, and he finally explained in very rushed and tense tones that “My number one girlfriend told me yesterday that she was pregnant and then my number two girlfriend told me today that she’s pregnant too and I just stole a car and got caught and I need a job in order to pay for my babies and I don’t know what to do. What should I do?”
Needless to say I had some choice things to tell him, but refrained and simply talked him through till he had calmed down a little. But for the future, dearest darling, wrap it up and then narrow it down to just one girl. K? Cool. Oh yeah, and don't steal cars.

There are many, many other stories from the darling DA, but I’m already dragging this through four posts so enough is enough. I learned a lot and saw a lot and will certainly never forget the experience!